I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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