so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Randomize
