if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
