Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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