If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
