Your tits are I can't wait for
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
She said her name was "party"
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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