DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize
