Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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