hotel room ftw
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
