Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
i think i just lost a toe
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize