Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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