Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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