I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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