I like my sex mixed with concussions.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
now i know why i became what i already was.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
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