I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
