i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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