just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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