i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
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It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
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