I'm so fucking centered right now
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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