is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
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