So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
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We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
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Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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