it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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