I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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