A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
