Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
