I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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