haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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