He kissed a someone with a penis
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
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