Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
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