Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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