I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
