I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Randomize
