I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
You ate ashes out of my bong
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize