Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
