Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
