I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
