it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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