We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
