We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
