this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
