Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize