Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
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