How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
