you mean i was at the winter classic?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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