It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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