"it" just moved
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
