so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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