probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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