If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Randomize
