dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
