you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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