That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize