We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Randomize
