i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
he just fucked me for my cheese.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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