I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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