Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
You ate ashes out of my bong
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
