god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
