i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize