shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
