I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
