i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Randomize
