so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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